The Cost
by bushlaboo
Summary: Season 3: Jack reflects on what he's done and what he must do to stop Saunders. You know how far I’m willing to go ...


Mo's babble: Hello guys. First I wanna thank anyone to pops in and reads this short of mine. I'm a huge and diehard fan of 24. Attempting to write a fan fiction, even a short one was very daunting. I don't feel like I can do the show justice but I've tried my best, hopefully it's passable. Thanks for reading, and a big THANK YOU if you take the time to reply.

The Cost 

The job was his life. His life was the job. It wasn't a fact Jack felt the need to hide from or explain to anyone … including his family. His diminishing family he thought somewhat bitterly. Losing Terri and their unborn child had hurt more then anything he'd experienced before. Nothing took that pain away, not Kate or Claudia, not his love for his daughter, not the drugs he pumped into his system or even the job. It was a pain he couldn't mask or forget. No matter how much he immersed himself in work the pain was there, as strong as it had been when he held Terri in his arms for the last time.

Finally killing Nina hadn't taken the pain away either. He'd gained a grim satisfaction knowing that she was no longer a threat to Kim, himself or CTU. Jack hadn't actually expected the pain to go away, though he was afraid that one day it would. It was one of the few tangible reminders he had left of his wife. That made the pain precious, a cruel gift he clung to even when he found solace with Kate.

In a few intense hours he learned to admire Kate for her strength and clam. In the mist of terror and personal tragedy she had risked her life willingly. In a few short hours she accomplished a miracle, he learned to trust her—completely, with his mission and with his daughter. They had started to build a life on that and he had begun to love again. 

Jack didn't want to blame his addiction on Kate because it had been his choice to make when he decided to get in with the Salazars. Taking drugs seemed the quickest way to prove himself, making in roads swiftly had been his goal and getting in deep; deeper then perhaps he'd ever been to hide from his betrayal. It was foolish to think of loving Kate that way. She had brought happiness back into his life, something which he had been sorely missing since Terri's death.

Still he lost himself to his cover … he was a new man, a different man. Haunted, always haunted, but for a while he wasn't the man who failed his wife and let her die. And it was that man who fell for Claudia.

He created one hell of a mess. He was stuck between the man he really was and cover he created, torn between the woman at home who saved him and the woman who needed to be rescued from Hector's lifestyle. He'd divided his loyalties and in the end it cost him and them, Claudia more so then Kate.

He had to focus Jack reminded himself. His President, his country, his co-workers were counting on him, more importantly so was Kim. He took pride in fact that President Palmer trusted him and relied on his input, just as he took pride in his country. So much so that he was willing to sacrifice his own life – his soul if need be to protect it – but not his daughter.

Family came first. Kim's life, her happiness, her future were what mattered most to him. Keeping her whole and safe was his priority. To do that he had to stop Saunders from releasing the virus. The life of _his_ daughter, _his_ President, _his_ co-workers and every single person in Los Angeles was in his hands.

He couldn't fail them. He wouldn't Jack thought steeling himself. He crossed into the unforgivable already when he executed Ryan. It might have been sanction, but it was a responsibility that he took on personally. It was his load to carry and try to make amends for—getting Saunders was the only way to repay Ryan for his heroism.

So that's just what he'd do. 

"You know how far I'm willing to go," he informed Steven Saunders via the phone. His electric blue eyes were focused on his only bargaining chip, Saunders' nineteen-year-old daughter who resembled Kim enough to turn his gut. He'd use whatever leverage he had to stop a madman that in the end he helped make without realizing it.

He let the threat sink in, knowing he'd be ready to act no matter what response Steven gave him.

**THE END**


End file.
